Footsteps…
There are several aspects of life that we can only relate to when we are faced with it.
When I was studying in college, as all college students who stayed away from their home, I had to manage my expenses in a limited budget. During that time, I remember my first cousin published her debut book. It was since then that I started dreaming of having that “Author” tag before my name. Putting this aside for now, I was excited beyond measures to know this and wanted to read her novel at the earliest.
But, to my dismay, to read it, I would have to purchase it. At that time, I couldn’t understand why, being a family member, even I would have to purchase it to read sometime that my cousin had written. I also remember wondering why she isn’t providing it to us for free.
Now, after more than 15 years to that day, I got to understand the reason when I got my own debut book published: it was when I walked in her footsteps. Once my book got published, I wanted people to buy it so that it could someday be included among the best sellers, and for that, you require to sell a lot of copies of your book. Isn’t this the dream of every author?
Now, who are our biggest supporters? Isn’t it our family and friends? So, at this time, you require the support of each of your family members and friends. You know for sure, that no matter what, at least your family and friends will buy your book just because of the fact that you have written it. You may gift it to an unknown person for marketing purposes, but you do expect at least your family members and friends to purchase it, hence helping in the initial sale numbers of your book.
Similarly, there are a lot of things we don’t understand until unless we are faced with it. Being a girl born and bought up in India, there are various statements that Indian mothers are joked to make in any possible situations. Some of them, which I have always heard growing up, are:
- When you go to your in-laws' place, and they taunt you for not knowing any specific thing, then you will realize my worth.
- When you become a mother yourself, then you will realize how difficult it is to raise a child.
- When you have to manage your own house, then you will realize how much work you have to put in.
We used to just ignore these and even joke about it often, mimicking them behind their back. But, when we grow up and find ourselves in these situations, it is then that we realize the truth in her words; we realize that whatever she said, was to help us effectively face these situations when it would fall on us.
Until we are faced with certain situations in life, we fail to understand it even if people who love us try to warn us about it. It is because, at that time, we cannot relate to the significance of those things.
Then again, there is also the truth that no matter how much we try to guide and protect our loved ones from some unpleasant situation that we have already faced and have experience of, we cannot shield anyone from any struggle that they are bound to face. Moreover, it is what makes us stronger.
On a lighter note, something to consider and maybe laugh about:
- We all know that marriage is difficult. Won’t you agree that life was much simpler when we were a spinster/bachelor? Marriage has its own set of responsibilities and changes life completely. It is good, no doubt, but it also is difficult at times. Knowing all this, why is it that parents always force their kids to get married? It's true marriage gives you a companion for life, but with life being so unpredictable, what’s the guarantee in anything?
- Raising a kid is difficult, right? It may have its benefits, but it isn’t mandatory for every couple to have one. We see our parents: no matter how old we get; they never stop worrying for us because they love and care for us more than anything else in the world. Then why do people always force the couples without kids to have one at least? Wouldn’t it be better to let the couple decide on it whether they want to have children or not? Whether they feel ready for the responsibility?
We have heard people tell us multiple times that, we cannot understand what a person has been through until we try and walk in their footsteps. We may judge a person and make fun of them for something we may not find normal, but what we fail to understand is the situation that they have had to face, to act or behave in a certain way. What we see is just superficial; it is what lies within that we fail to see.
No two persons can have the same footprints; it is because of how a situation molds one person isn’t the same way it will mold the other. It is because a person’s personality is formed based on various other factors as well.
Life is difficult for every single person, and that is what molds a person’s personality. Everything that a person is, it is a combination of the various struggles that they have faced, the environment they were in, the surroundings, and the teachings of everyone around them. A child, while growing up, learns from everything that it sees — every single thing, be it living or non-living, contributes to making it the person it grows up to be.
Every person is the best that they can be, given the life they have been offered, and we are no one to judge them; the same way no one has the right to judge us.
A very nice saying that we all must have heard at some point in our lives goes as follows:
“You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”
— Unknown
